Wednesday, 24 March 2010


Nowadays you can’t release a film, an album, a commercial, a car, an electrical product or a fart without first submitting it to the rigours of a research group. If you wish to present anything to the public now, you have to take whatever it is that has been so lovingly crafted and put it in front of a focus group. A bunch of people will turn up for the promise of a small fee and a plate of sandwiches and be asked what is wrong with it? Then to justify their existence in the room they will tell you how they could have done a far better job themselves.

Can you imagine if research had always been around? Would it have been better? What would have happened, for instance, if the music of yesteryear had undergone a similar fate?
Here is a classic piece of work with possible research comments in italics.

(Why look back. Too negative.)
All my troubles seemed so far away,
(There is no need to mention troubles. It puts a problem in the listeners’ mind that doesn’t need to be there)
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
(No, no, no.)
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
(What about believing in ‘Today’?)
(Good, group liked spontaneity)
I'm not half the man I used to be,
(Not liked at all. He should be twice the man he was)
There's a shadow hanging over me,
(Sounds negative, change to something sunnier)
Oh, yesterday came suddenly.
(Not very believable)
 Why she
Had to go I don't know, she wouldn't say.
(No. Suggests lack of communication)
I said,
Something wrong, now I long for yesterday.
(Not liked. Could they say something right and look forward to tomorrow?)
(Refer to previous comment)
Love was such an easy game to play,
Now I need a place to hide away,
(Again negative. Sounds a bit lonely)
Oh, I believe in yesterday.
(Refer to previous comment)
 Repeat previous two verses.
(Heard it all before. Try something new)
(Group had no strong opinions on the letter m.)

Here’s how a research friendly might sound.

Our today.
We’re going on holiday for a nice getaway.
A nice resort where the kids can play.
Oh, I believe in our today.
I’m as happy as I can be,
To spend quality time together as a family,
Oh, our today will come suddenly.
Why we
Have to go, with the flow, I couldn’t say.
I said,
Something strong, like I long, for our today.

I think you’ll agree that research has certainly helped improve the rather negative words of Mr. McCartney.


  1. Blogger, author and now songwriter. Simon Cowell will be on the phone any time now.

  2. Now, now! Is Mr Rant gonna give us a rendition? Your talents know no bounds!

  3. Maybe I'll enter Britain's Got Talent, as a singer songranter!